7 of Diddy’s Unluckiest Associates

Written by Sketch the Journalist. Posted in Lists, WTF

Tagged: ,

Published on September 14, 2010 with 2 Comments

A recent Bad Boy brainstorming session here the TRU offices (as regular readers might imagine, we have them scheduled every Tuesday from 10:32 – 10:33am) birthed an interesting observation: Given the track record of some of his past associates, does anyone really want to work for/with Diddy?

Let’s do a quick rundown, shall we?

7. Dirty Money:
Before the ink was even dry on the check Combs cut to T-Pain for AutoTune tutorials, Jay-Z was sounding the alarm on the overused Pro Tools’ effect on hip-pop’s watery vocals. Although “Angels” and “Good Morning” survived, the gimmick was literally D.O.A. by the time the Dirty Money project was released.

6. Lil Kim:
Once the Queen Bee, in 2005 Kim was convicted of three counts of conspiracy and one count of perjury for lying to a federal grand jury about her friends’ involvement in a 2001 shooting outside the Hot 97 studios in Manhattan.

A few years later she’s dancing with the stars and seeing her former employer publicly side with her 2010 clone, Nicki Manaj.

5. J.Lo:
At one point she was dating Diddy and popping up (out?) at award shows half dressed. However, that Club New York shooting incident with Puffy’s “protection” didn’t exactly improve their relationship.

Fast forward a few years and Jenny-From-the-Block is appearing in “Bennifer” box office bombs like Gigli and Jersey Girl. Now, she’s rumored to be one of the next full-time judges on the sinking ship known as American Idol.

4. Loon:
Loon dropped a self-titled album with Bad Boy in 2003 and left the angry baby logo behind a year later to start his own company.

He recently converted from Christianity to Islam, changed his name to Amir Junaid Muhadith, gave up rap, and now tours the world giving lectures to teens about how they should live their lives.

3. Shyne:
Before Rick Ross, Puffy’s B.I.G. replacement came in the audio form of a rapper named Shyne. Unfortunately, he was a part of the J.Lo/Diddy entourage the night a shooting at a Manhattan club left three people injured. As a result the 21-year-old rapper, whose debut album was pending release, was charged with attempted murder, assault, and reckless endangerment.

Shyne was sentenced to ten years at max security prison and converted to Judiasm five years in. Today he goes by the name Moses Michael Leviy and was eventually deported to his home country of Belize.

2. Ma$e:
Similar to Biggie, Ma$e only dropped one album with Bad Boy before he seemed to believe success wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. The debut went 4x platinum but ultimately appeared to reveal the truth behind their “Mo Money, Mo Problems” song title.

Just before the release of Double Up the artist told Funkmaster Flex that he was retiring from hip hop to pursue his calling from God. This led to his enrollment in Bible college, his authorship of Revelations: There’s Life after the Lime (a book in which he declared rap to be an acronym for Running Away from Preaching), and the establishment of his Pastor Mason Betha persona and churches in Atlanta and Phoenix.

Sure, there was that clean Welcome Back record and subsequent Crucified 4 The Hood mixtape with G-Unit, but nothing that’s really matched the sky high profile of those shiny suit years.

1. Notorious B.I.G.:
Christopher Wallace blew up under Puffy’s tutelage and to this day is still hotly debated as the game’s G.O.A.T. MC. But it wasn’t all Cristal and Coogi with Biggie. Frank White only managed one album under his XXXL belt before his assassination in 1997. Thirteen years later, the murder remains unsolved.

Given those circumstances, the title of that record and those that followed (including the one scheduled for released just 15 days after his death) are eerily haunting.

  • Ready to Die (1994)
  • Conspiracy (1995 Junior M.A.F.I.A. group album)
  • Life After Death (1997)
  • Born Again (1999 posthumous release)

So, we’ve gotta ask: Just what in the Harlem World is going on over at Bad Boy? What exactly is it that makes people start to contemplate their afterlife after rolling with Puff Daddy Abraham?

Is Diddy the Bizarro Suge Knight?


Sketch the Journalist

Sketch the Journalist is a freelance writer living in the thriving country metropolis of Cut-N-Shoot, Texas. Down with gospel rap since Stephen Wiley’s “Bible Break” in 1986, he has chewed, reviewed, and interviewed most of Christian hip hop’s major players. He authors the Jesus Muzik blog for the Houston Chronicle's Belief website.

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There are currently 2 Comments on 7 of Diddy’s Unluckiest Associates. Perhaps you would like to add one of your own?

  1. puff-hip hop’s dracula

  2. i stopped paying attention once i saw an old j.lo pic. thank you for that.

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