The Rap-to-English Translator

Written by Tycho. Posted in Awesome, Comic Relief

Published on October 20, 2010 with 2 Comments

Listening to rap music in front of parents/grandparents/other old heads has always been an awkward experience. They start with questions about “rolling papers” and “flippin bricks”, then it’s “shawty bopping”, and before you know if you’re getting lectured on safe sex practices. Well, thanks to a former pharmaceutical report writer, we now have a reference book to help smooth the situation over. Mr. Buckholz’s new book, Understand Rap: Explanations of Confusing Rap Lyrics You & Your Grandma Can Understand, contains decipherings under ten different categories, including Fashion, Crime/Weapons, and Insults. Here’s an excerpt:

“We pop them toasters”

Lyric from song: “The Gambler”

On album: “Man vs Machine”

By artist: “Xzibit”

Translation: ” We squeeze the triggers of guns as casually as if we were attempting to discharge bread from a kitchen appliance before it had reached the level of warmth and crispness associated with the setting we had selected.”

This book is perfect coffee table reading material, and it’s available on Amazon for only $9, so go get it today!



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  1. Comedy gold.

  2. Comedy gold.

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