With North-Korean dictator Kim-Jong-Il passing away and leaving his subjects in tears over the loss of their
Matt Stone & Trey Parker puppet beloved leader, an emptiness becomes apparent in our western hearts as well. The Soviet Union has disbanded long ago, Saddam’s been pulled out of a hole in the ground reduced to a shadow of his fearsome self and sentenced to death, Osama’s been shot by a crack commando squad with a live feed sent to the White House mimicking the realest first person shooter ever, Khadafi’s been dragged to the streets by a smalltown militia of his former subjects and now Kim-Jong-Il is no longer around to direct the world’s most megalomaniacal mass-production stage shows.
Who is going to inspire horribly cliched enemies for our action heroes to blast holes through in xenophobic but explosion-filled entertainment? There were plenty in the 80s but what’s left now? Will our children still be able to watch unstoppable rains of bullets, strong men with mullets and catch-arrows-between-your-teeth ninja action? My youth simply wouldn’t have been the same without it. Thankfully, someone still knows how to fill this gaping hole in our cultural landscape…
Thank you and bless you, Sylvester Stallone, bless your heart. For rallying your colleagues (now including Jean-Claude van Damme and Chuck-freaking-Norris as well!) and making my 12-year old self jumpkick through the air with joy. August 2012 can’t come soon enough.
Until then I’ll be over here with my American Ninja full series box-set. May I humbly suggest Michael Dudikoff for part 3?