British tabloid reports Jay Electronica having an affair with Rothschild heiress

Welcome to London Jay, enjoy your first tabloid scandal. The Rothschilds, one of the richest families in the world, is currently putting their collective knickers in a twist over a breakup in the family; Ben and Kate Goldsmith are divorcing. The reason would be that Kate (heiress of the Rotschild empire) is allegedly having an affair with none other than Jay Electronica, who she was apparently working with in her profession as music producer. At least that’s what the British tabloid The Daily Mail is reporting. Be advised however, that the Daily Mail certainly has some questionable journalistic standards. They’re offering all kinds of (unconfirmed) details over there, like her husband finding saucy text messages between the two and slapping her in the subsequent row.

You’ll laugh at the lengths they’re taking in trying to paint Jay Electronica as some kind of dangerous deviant. Which we all know he must be, after all, it comes as a given with this horrid vocation of his! Surely, a rapper can never be anything other than the absolute worst that the hoi polloi could possibly bring forth! *puts down milky tea and waves fist*

Anyway, that rumbling sound you hear over all this? It’s the sound of a million Illuminati conspiracy theorists collectively starting their engines.

J.Monkey

1982 was when Jaap van der Doelen aka J.Monkey shot his way out his mom dukes. A mere two years later he was already battling Big Brother and The Illuminati. Whenever he has time to spare from those efforts he writes (about music, mostly), hosts a radio show and designs graphics for a living. He lives in The Netherlands where he continues to be winning.

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