Lyrical ambiguity can be a beatiful thing. Leaving room for interpretation can lead to a multi-layered song, inspiring others, ultimately posing a more challenging and engaging song to the listener, turning a passive experience into a cerebral one. Or you could just half-ass it and throw some random words together. Who gives a f*** about lyrics, anyway? These guys ‘n gals sure didn’t when they penned these questionable headscratchers.
“I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl
Without being disrespectful
Damn, you’s a sexy bitch”
7. David Guetta Ft. Akon – Sexy Bitch
Be honest Akon, you weren’t even trying. At all. I imagine the ‘writing process’ might’ve went a little something like this: Akon: “What’s a respectful way to describe a girl? Bitch?” David Guetta: “Assez proche! (close enough)”
“Everywhere I go my whistle ready to blow”
6. Flo-Rida – Whistle
The less than paper-thin allusion to oral sex was already pretty obvious before the horribly named stooge Flo-Rida uttered this abysmal excuse for innuendo. After, well, everything just goes out the window. If you ask the girl to “blow” your “whistle” than shouldn’t she be the one ready to blow instead of the whistle itself? Unless of course you’re not talking about a whistle at all and you’re just describing a severe case of the blue balls. Really, the only thing blown here is a shoddy metaphor.
“I really really wanna zig-a-zig-aah”
5. Spice Girls – Wannabe
I’m sure you do. Moving on.
“Waiting on the Pizzle, the Dizzle and the Shizzle
G’s to the bizzack, now ladies here we gizzo”
4. Snoop Dogg – Drop it like it’s hot
Wait, what? You might’ve gone a bit overbizzoard with that shizzle there, Snoop. Shout out to Snacks ‘n Shit.
“You got my conscience asking questions that I can’t find”
(…)
“The alphabet goes right from A to Z”
3. All Saints – Never Ever
Regarding your conscience, if it’s asking you questions it already found those. I think you mean you can’t find the answers. Or your grasp of syntax. Regarding your findings about the alphabet:
“We downloaded the shockwave
For all the ladies in the cave
To get your groove on!”
2. Limp Bizkit – My Generation
For the young’ns that might not remember, Macromedia Shockwave was a browser plugin that allowed you play certain animations on web pages. It was later acquired by Adobe and folded into Flash, something also developed by Macromedia. Anyway, it was a cool thing in the days when internet was this newfangled medium everybody was just getting access to, that has absolutely nothing to do with the context of cave-dancing ladyfolk given within this song. Ol’ Freddy is basically just rattling off random stuff he thinks sounds cool and define his generation, only to end up looking like a complete tool. Here’s a somewhat more modern equivalent (and yes, I’m well aware of Megaupload’s current situation) for you: We unzipped the rar-file from Megaupload, for all the girls in the abode, Fred Durst is a toad.
I’m afraid of the dark,
‘specially when I’m in a park
And there’s no-one else around,
Ooh, I get the shivers
I don’t want to see a ghost,
It’s a sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news(…)
life, doo, doot dooo
doo, doot doooSo after all is said and done
I know I’m not the only one
Life indeed can be fun, if you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams,
Ain’t as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world,
In a beautiful balloon
Des’ree – Life
I don’t know what to sing
Think I’ll think a random thing
It doesn’t really matter
As long as it rhymes
I don’t make a lick of sense
But it’s deep under the pretense
That I try to comprehend
What ‘life’ is about
I hate this song.
