First the good news: Drake may have the voice of a lactose-intolerant dolphin but he proves he can definitely spit a verse here and Kendrick predictably kills it. Even if they hadn’t planned on putting him last on the song he might’ve opened his verse saying “This is the finale” anyway, nobody was going to follow that performance. 40 Shebib’s production style isn’t my bag of chips usually but the beat ain’t hard to nod ya head to either.
These other two though? A$AP Rocky might be hailed by many as the next big thing in rap, a lyrical heavyweight he surely isn’t. On what is ostensibly built to be a chart-topping single, despite the title being not exactly radio material (don’t be surprised if it’s rebranded as ‘Beast’ in a week or so), his flow and charisma compensate for lackluster, cliché lyrics:
ASAP get like me
Never met a motherfucker fresh like me
All these motherfuckers wanna dress like me
Put the chrome to your dome make you sweat like Keith
Cause I’m the nigga, the nigga nigga
Like how you figure?
Really Rocky? That’s what you follow a couple lines quoting Dirty’s ‘Shimmy Shimmy Ya’ with? Not exactly material that’ll have people reach for the rewind button. Ol’ Dirty himself was no wizard with the verbs either but he more than made up for it when it comes to sheer originality. “Sweat like Keith” is the most original thing in there and I doubt many people will go “Oh snap!” off of that one.
Still, it’s practically Shakespearean compared to the chorus TAFKATB brings to the table: a hook that is barely a hook at all, just an only-there-for-name-recognition 2Chainz repeatedly cursing in two sentences rhyming “f*cking problem” with “f*cking problem.”
This is a successful rapper in the year 2012. The man has rarely uttered a single original, insightful or surprising line, nor does he have any discernible exceptional vocal talents, yet he’s invited to collaborate on posse tracks with talented people to which he then adds absolutely nothing. Why they chose to put up with his struggle bars repeated throughout the f*cking song just so they could say they had the guy that dropped a huge turd over one of the summer’s biggest songs and nicknames girls with a big booty “big booty” is beyond me. This guy is an ass rapper, ‘s why I call him ass rapper.
I’m not sure how this happened (Nude pics of Russell’s nieces? The Rap Illuminati? Mind-controlling alien leg implants?) but I do know it makes me feel old. You kids don’t know what rapping is. In my days we had Big, L, Pun and Smalls. That’s rapping. We had Cube, Wu, Nas, Kool G, Rick the Ruler, Scarface, The DOC, now that’s rapping! This guy? This is just a guy saying random phrases he heard in rap songs and repeating them because he’s to lazy to make them rhyme.
Now get off my lawn.