F***ing Problem: Again A Decent Song Is Rendered Unlistenable By 2 Chainz

Written by J.Monkey. Posted in Snap Judgment, Spotlight, WTF

Tagged: , , ,

Published on October 19, 2012 with 10 Comments">10 Comments

First the good news: Drake may have the voice of a lactose-intolerant dolphin but he proves he can definitely spit a verse here and Kendrick predictably kills it. Even if they hadn’t planned on putting him last on the song he might’ve opened his verse saying “This is the finale” anyway, nobody was going to follow that performance. 40 Shebib’s production style isn’t my bag of chips usually but the beat ain’t hard to nod ya head to either.

These other two though? A$AP Rocky might be hailed by many as the next big thing in rap, a lyrical heavyweight he surely isn’t. On what is ostensibly built to be a chart-topping single, despite the title being not exactly radio material (don’t be surprised if it’s rebranded as ‘Beast’ in a week or so), his flow and charisma compensate for lackluster, cliché lyrics:

ASAP get like me
Never met a motherfucker fresh like me
All these motherfuckers wanna dress like me
Put the chrome to your dome make you sweat like Keith
Cause I’m the nigga, the nigga nigga
Like how you figure?

Really Rocky? That’s what you follow a couple lines quoting Dirty’s ‘Shimmy Shimmy Ya’ with? Not exactly material that’ll have people reach for the rewind button. Ol’ Dirty himself was no wizard with the verbs either but he more than made up for it when it comes to sheer originality. “Sweat like Keith” is the most original thing in there and I doubt many people will go “Oh snap!” off of that one.

Still, it’s practically Shakespearean compared to the chorus TAFKATB brings to the table: a hook that is barely a hook at all, just an only-there-for-name-recognition 2Chainz repeatedly cursing in two sentences rhyming “f*cking problem” with “f*cking problem.”


This is a successful rapper in the year 2012. The man has rarely uttered a single original, insightful or surprising line, nor does he have any discernible exceptional vocal talents, yet he’s invited to collaborate on posse tracks with talented people to which he then adds absolutely nothing. Why they chose to put up with his struggle bars repeated throughout the f*cking song just so they could say they had the guy that dropped a huge turd over one of the summer’s biggest songs and nicknames girls with a big booty “big booty” is beyond me. This guy is an ass rapper, ‘s why I call him ass rapper.

I’m not sure how this happened (Nude pics of Russell’s nieces? The Rap Illuminati? Mind-controlling alien leg implants?) but I do know it makes me feel old. You kids don’t know what rapping is. In my days we had Big, L, Pun and Smalls. That’s rapping. We had Cube, Wu, Nas, Kool G, Rick the Ruler, Scarface, The DOC, now that’s rapping! This guy? This is just a guy saying random phrases he heard in rap songs and repeating them because he’s to lazy to make them rhyme.

Now get off my lawn.


1982 was when Jaap van der Doelen aka J.Monkey shot his way out his mom dukes. A mere two years later he was already battling Big Brother and The Illuminati. Whenever he has time to spare from those efforts he writes (about music, mostly), hosts a radio show and designs graphics for a living. He lives in The Netherlands where he continues to be winning.

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  • http://twitter.com/rickkhanna Rick Khanna

    Agreed. 2 Chainz is trash. I can’t even believe his success. What are people smoking?

  • swagosaurus REX

    (I’m going to rant) So a song doesn’t fit your personal narrative
    of “every Hip-Hop song that isn’t lyrically complex or semi-intelligent can’t possibly
    be innovative or good” eh? Kendrick gets
    a good rapper pass, you hate drake’s voice (but yeah decent verse right), A$AP’s
    verse is generic and he gets labeled as an unoriginal rapper despite having an incredible
    mixtape in LiveLoveA$AP, and every 2 Chainz song is another icepick stabbing the
    heart of Hip-Hop (also apparently he’s the first bad rapper or person to repeat
    lines in a chorus/hook ever???). That’s the analysis. Many of the greats are
    dead and many of the living “greats” are out of juice and don’t have an
    artistic sense of urgency anymore. As far as I’m concerned LiveLoveA$AP has
    more creative songs than everything on the last two albums by Common and the
    last Kweli album and turd Kweli/z-trip mixtape combined. Maybe I should stop
    reading Hip-Hop analysis because all of this golden age romanticism is becoming
    boring to me. Analysis in the spirit of this romanticism is so annoyingly
    focused on how a rapper like Gucci Mane can never be the GZA. To me this is
    like trying to judge the Sex Pistols on the same standards as the psychedelic
    rock of Jefferson Airplane. It ignores the weaknesses of “conscious rap” and
    the reasons that nobody really aspires to be the GZA anymore. Art is full of
    movements, why can’t today’s Hip-Hop be seen as one of them and not a bunch of
    morons who are killing the genre?

    • Aaron

      While I understand what you’re saying about old heads romanticizing the golden age, J is hardly one of those people. My first post for TRU was a lament of the days of old, and J actually stood up for current hip-hop in the comment section. The point is, 2 Chainz is trash. I also understand that you’re an A$AP fan. J even compliments A$AP Rocky’s charisma and flow. What more do you want? It’s no secret A$AP Rocky isn’t a lyrical wizard, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a good artist. The point of this article is that 2 Chainz sucks, and he is the posterboy for no creativity in hip-hop

      • http://twitter.com/jmonkey Jaap van der Doelen

        Exactly, thanks Aaron.

    • http://twitter.com/jmonkey Jaap van der Doelen

      If I commend two of the four emcees for a good verse and one for compensating a cliché verse with flow and charisma, how is my criticism of the fourth construed as hating on the new school? The reason I brought up the “old” angle (besides for self-deprecating comedic purposes, which pretty much falls flat with me now explaining that) is because I honestly can not fathom why this guy is so popular nowadays, or what he adds to this song besides name recognition. If you can enlighten me to his redeeming qualities, please feel free to do so.

      “So a song doesn’t fit your personal narrative of “every Hip-Hop song that isn’t lyrically complex or semi-intelligent can’t possibly be innovative or good” eh?”

      Uhm, no. Notice me mentioning ODB and calling him “no wizard with the verbs either” in this very article?

      “Art is full of movements, why can’t today’s Hip-Hop be seen as one of them and not a bunch of morons who are killing the genre?”

      Because today’s hip-hop, and that of the many eras before it, is not a monolithic mass. There are dope parts to it and wack parts, it’s not hating to try and separate what’s what. Besides, I never even said today’s rappers are “morons killing the genre,” those are your words.

      • swagosaurus REX

        Yes, eras of hip-hop are not monolithic. I do think that
        there are pervasive trends which can be seen in the mainstream which are used
        to define those eras in a way that is monolithic. Lyricism was dominant in the
        90’s when the southern style was for the most part underground. Now that
        southern hip-hop has become a prominent fixture in the mainstream and things
        have really changed as far as sales are concerned, there is a lot more weight on
        mixtapes (which I think the south is better at producing).

        There are bad rappers/weed carriers in every era (haha Chingy)
        and perhaps 2 Chainz doesn’t offer us much as far as creativity is concerned (I
        liked some of Codeine Cowboy for its catchiness and I don’t mind the hook but
        yeah overall he is pretty forgettable) but I think it is going too far to say
        that these rappers are killing hip-hop. 2 Chainz, like Big Sean or Tyga is a
        high up weed carrier who I would say functions as a bridge to the many people
        who would give their left arm to do a song with Kanye or Lil Wayne. Therefore,
        the incentive to do a song with 2 Chainz. 2 Chainz is also a great self-promoter
        which in the mixtape era gets your name out. My perception of your criticizing a
        rapper who I think everybody knows is bad sort of turned me to thinking that
        you were insinuating that they are killing hip-hop (perhaps an overreaction to
        the last paragraph).

        The point I was trying to make is that a couple bad rappers couldn’t
        kill hip-hop if they tried. I think last year was a great year for hip-hop and
        many of the people who contributed to its greatness did not follow the great
        lyricist style that I see as pervasive in the late 80’s and early 90’s and I don’t
        think that traditional hip-hop heads recognize that. Tyler the creator for
        example, while relying on gimmicks, I think made hip-hop scary again. A$AP did
        a lot to knock down regional barriers and had some very innovative production
        on his tape. Spaceghostpurrp brought back an early Three 6 Mafia aesthetic
        which I sorely missed. I think there is a lot more nuance to the “short bus
        shorty” than meets the eye and sometimes they suck like 2 Chainz but I think
        they are caricatured and ignored as well. Just trying to bring up a perspective
        that feel like I never see represented.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004161660669 BaldheadNiguhincharge MyPageis
  • https://twitter.com/DJ_Frank_Tank Franklin I

    I like 2 Chainz mad that he was just on the chorus