Why R. Kelly’s Trapped In The Closet Will Never, Ever End

Kells is back with another installment of the most megalomaniacal, batshit-crazy, fourth-wall-shattering, longest-running, midget-in-a-cupboard incorporating, impossible to parody series known as Trapped In The Closet. Yes, Rufus and Cathy, Sylvester, Bridget and her midget, thugged out Twan, that policeman played by Michael K. Williams (Omar from The Wire), they all seem to be back but may possibly play not just a second fiddle, but a third or fourth. See, Kells, in all his wisdom, seems intent on further expanding the roles of reverend Mosley and pimp Lucius, thus increasing the number of roles he was already playing himself (the narrator, gangster Sylvester and the stereotypical black senior citizen from every comedy that sucked ever).

This is a stroke of genius.

Why, you ask? Because with the ending of part 22, everybody was calling each other as “the bug” was caught by Rufus’s lover. With HIV potentially running amok among the cast of characters, Kells can randomly kill off anyone in the story if someone ever decides to leave this endeavour, because they’re hit by a sudden stroke of sanity/an actual acting career/sobriety. Of course, they may just want to see how long Kells can keep this up, which is certainly something I can relate too, and if they have as much laughs acting in it as I have had watching it I wouldn’t leave either, but who knows, people differ, anything can happen (I do hope he keeps at least Twan and policeman Omar around).

[UPDATE: Upon rewatching the 22nd chapter I noticed "the bug" is not explicitly mentioned and I misremembered (Forgive me, it had been a while). In fact, "the package" can be virtually anything, further fueling the endless capacity of what will no doubt be a timeless cultural milestone.]

But the great poet/playwright/composer/actor/singer/director/renaissance man Robert Kelly doesn’t need anyone to continue his magnum opus Trapped In The Closet. He can now keep it running for as long as he lives, and I have a feeling he just might.

To Be Continued…

J.Monkey

1982 was when Jaap van der Doelen aka J.Monkey shot his way out his mom dukes. A mere two years later he was already battling Big Brother and The Illuminati. Whenever he has time to spare from those efforts he writes (about music, mostly), hosts a radio show and designs graphics for a living. He lives in The Netherlands where he continues to be winning.

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