The 2012 TRU Hip-Hop Awards

Written by J.Monkey. Posted in Comic Relief, Hip-Hop 101, Spotlight, The Rap Up

Published on December 19, 2012 with 3 Comments">3 Comments

Like we always do around this time… The only awards that tell you how it T-I is: the annual TRU Awards. Yeah, these awards are doled out with a tongue planted firmly in our cheek but you can feel the realness. So without further ado, here we go!

The Cheddar Bob Shooting Yourself In The... Award


Winner: Azealia Banks
Earlier this year, Miss Banks was buzzing like a beehive in both EDM and rap circles. With rapid-fire, impressive flow and agressive attitude the firy rapstress caught a worldwide hit with her infectious track 212. Her album got repeatedly pushed back though, and she seemingly put the nail in the coffin herself when she started ridiculing Munchi, the creator of the beat for what was supposed to be her single, on Twitter (“Esta Noche won’t be being released today because Munchi thinks I’m in the illuminati..”) while Interscope was still in negotiation with him about his involvement with the product bearing his name. “I demanded a creative voice in the video. I’m a religious man and don’t want to cooperate with that satanic shit that’s in fashion, things I’ve seen in her work” Munchi said, as he refused cooperation and potential fees, stating that his integrity was more important to him any price they wanted to put on it.

It was a bad look to potential collaborators, label people and music fans alike and throwing a monkeywrench into her own release like that has probably ticked off all the wrong people. Her contributions to Kanye’s Cruel Summer sessions were all cut, her buzz has only dwindled since and her upcoming album pushed back again, this time to February 2013. Her temper got the best of her, and successfully sabotaged her career so far. Now she’ll be lucky to be released as an Interscope tax write-off sometime in the next year.

The “Smokey’s You Got Knocked The FucK Out!” Award


Winner: Manny Pacquiao
That image really says all that needs to be said. This was harsh.

The Angry Police Captain Wants Your Badge Award

The Angry Police Captain Wants Your Badge Award

Winner: Freddie Gibbs
December last year, Freddie Gibbs got a TSA agent fired after he tweeted a pic of the weed they let him get through customs. This year, he got a patrolman by the name of Jason Johnson demoted by the Gary, Indiana PD since they were less than enamored with the gangsta rap video in which his patrol vehicle was used. Unlike certain obese rappers with a propensity for grunting and expensive vehicle music, whenever Freddie Gibbs collaborates with the law it results in that representant of the law losing his badge. You’d think Gibbs was in an ’80s buddy flick by the rate he has police captains foaming at the mouth.

The Lil Poopy a.k.a. The Youngest Don Award

lil poop

Winner: Lil Poopy
Who else than the wunderkind French Montana signed? As if you needed them, Khal gave you 10 reasons why this is so. They will have you wondering wether this is hideous or hilarious. It’s hiladious©.

The Andre Young Lost Album Of Shangri-La Award


Winner: 50 Cent
We could give it to Jay Electronica, again, but he’s too busy bangin’ Illuminati broads to pick his award up anyway. We could give it to Outkast, but Big Boi actually put out a great solo and Andre made clear he isn’t interested in doing another ‘Kast album anytime soon. So who deserved it most this year? Well, Fif didn’t have an easy year, with his car crash and all, but buzz around his new album built up to a crescendo during the first half of 2012. He seemed hungry on his mixtapes, sounded like he had something to prove again, and this summer, everybody was looking forward to a Curtis Jackson comeback. He had a single with Dr. Dre and Alicia Keys in August, but the album it was supposed to promote failed to materialize for a variety of reasons. Fif publicly expressed his displeasure with Interscope and threatened to release the album himself. Which didn’t happen. Beef with Floyd Mayweather did though, and another single as well, one that many people wished never happened. With 2012 almost over, there’s still no sign of Street King Immortal, and expectations for the album are unfortunately circling the drain with the speed of Michael Phelps.

The Renegade a.k.a. Eminem Murdered You on Your Own Shit Award

Ghostface Killah

Winner: Pusha T Ghostface Killah
Pusha & Kanye’s New God Flow was a track that knocked hard around the TRU offices. So hard, yours truly got inspired by the title to cut his own unofficial video for it. Rest assured that a little hobby project like that’ll make you listen to a song a bajillion times. After that many repeated spins, the song still sounded fresh to me. Kanye’s verse was on point, but the hard-hitting drums (lifted from Synthetic Substitution by Melvin Bliss, the same as on Ghost’s Mighty Healthy), the ice cold piano and hair-raising soul of the intro fit Pusha’s bars to a T. Yeezy was billed as main attraction on Cruel Summer but he got Renegaded on this track, and the awful outro he tacked onto the OG version further drove that point home. When the tracklist popped up online, people figured the inclusion of Ghostface referenced his vocal sample (also from ‘Mighty Healthy’) used as the hook, but when the album dropped the horrible outro had unexpectedly disappeared in favor of a showstopping performance by Ghost Deini, renegading everybody on the song and murking the track.

The Snacks and Shit Ridiculous Rhyme Award

Winner: 2 Chainz

“She got a big booty so I call her big booty”

That line is ass cheeks so I call it ass cheeks.

Runner up: Rick Ross

“I put that on my life, Lord, I wouldn’t tell a lie”


The Tempur-Pedic Snooze Inducer of the Year Award


Winner: Slaughterhouse – Welcome To Our House
This is a group that got together because they were all rejected by the major label machine, refusing to fit the mold and combine to do some raw shit. Then they do a suckfest of a major label album drowning in pop tunes with a bunch of Skylar Grey choruses. What, they’re B.o.B. times 4 now?

That El-P remix of Hammer Dance (which isn’t included on the album) was dope though.


1982 was when Jaap van der Doelen aka J.Monkey shot his way out his mom dukes. A mere two years later he was already battling Big Brother and The Illuminati. Whenever he has time to spare from those efforts he writes (about music, mostly), hosts a radio show and designs graphics for a living. He lives in The Netherlands where he continues to be winning.

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